Practical Strategies for Helping Teens Navigate Digital Life

As both the Director of Technology at Chatham Hall and the parent of a current Junior, I spend my days, and plenty of evenings, living in the middle of the same digital maze that today’s teens walk through. I see it from several angles: the technical one, where I spend time protecting accounts, filtering content, and helping our students use technology safely and productively; and the parent one, where I’m trying to raise a teenager who can make good decisions on her own even when I’m not hovering nearby.

These viewpoints overlap more than you might think, and they’ve given me a front-row seat to what actually helps teens navigate their digital life with confidence and balance. Here are a few strategies that have made a difference both at home and on campus.

I’m often surprised, both as a parent and as an “IT Guy,” at how willing teens are to talk about their tech lives when the conversation doesn’t feel like an interrogation. Instead of swooping in when something has gone wrong, bring up good habits during normal, low-stakes moments like car rides, a meal, or while simply taking a walk from class to class. Ask open-ended questions that lead to discussion without being accusatory. Something as simple as “What’s the most annoying thing your phone distracts you from?” or “If you redesigned Instagram, what would you change?” can spark dialogue and help build trust before you actually need it.

One of the simplest habits we’ve encouraged at home and at school is carving out moments where devices take a back seat. For some families, that’s dinner. For others, it’s the last half hour before bed. At Chatham Hall, we intentionally create times, such as Assembly, Chapel, and meals, for students to connect without their devices throughout the day. I’ve often heard campus visitors comment on how nice it is to see our students walking down the hallways, saying hello instead of staring at a phone. That’s intentional. When a group agrees to unplug, it becomes a shared experience rather than a punishment.

We don’t expect teens to inherently know how to drive, cook dinner, or manage a bank account. Technology use is no different. Instead of assuming they “should already know better,” walk through things with them step by step, and don’t be afraid to let them fail. Show them how to evaluate a sketchy email or how to recognize when social media is nudging their mood in the wrong direction. These are learned skills, and learning them together can make it feel like a partnership rather than policing.

From the IT side, I’ll be honest: filters and monitoring tools can help, but they aren’t the whole answer. They’re seatbelts, not chauffeurs, and as technology improves, especially with the power of AI, they become less effective. They can reduce the risk, but they don’t teach good judgment. What works best is a blend of healthy boundaries, clear expectations, and letting teens make gradually increasing decisions for themselves. Instead of saying “No phone at night,” consider “Let’s try charging your phone outside your room this week and see how you feel in the morning.” 

It’s easy to focus on the risks, but there’s plenty of good here too. Technology helps our students create, stay connected, collaborate, explore interests, and build skills that will serve them long after graduation. When we point out those positives, teens feel respected instead of controlled, and they’re more receptive to conversations about balance.

It’s important to realize that helping teens navigate digital life doesn’t mean eliminating or even minimizing screens. It’s about giving them the tools, confidence, and boundaries to use technology in a way that supports who they want to become.