Monthly Theme: We Are Our True Selves

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” — Carl Jung

What does it mean to be your true self?

At Chatham Hall, October begins with a question that feels both simple and brave: Who are you becoming? During our October 2 chapel, students and faculty explored that question through reflection, poetry, music, and conversation as we introduced this month’s theme, “We Are Our True Selves.” The morning invited our community to think about authenticity, individuality, resilience, responsibility, and the courage it takes to grow into who we are.

Being your true self does not mean never changing. In fact, quite the opposite. As Chaplain Barksdale reminded us, we are constantly changing as we live and learn together. Some days we take risks and try new things with confidence. Other days, we may be more cautious, discerning who we are and how we want to be. At Chatham Hall, both are part of the journey.

For Pearson M. ’30, being true to herself has meant discovering that she does not have to arrive at Chatham Hall knowing exactly who she is. “As a new girl, it’s hard finding your place,” Pearson shared. “Meanwhile, it can feel like you’re on the sidelines waiting for your passion to come to you.”

But in a small community, Pearson has found room to explore. She has discovered new friendships, new interests, and new possibilities. She came to Chatham Hall thinking volleyball might be her passion, only to discover that she loves tennis and might want to try riding or dance, too. “When I’m here, I don’t have to be just one person,” she said. “I can be multiple people with multiple interests.”

That freedom to explore is part of what makes being known at Chatham Hall so meaningful. Pearson described her class as a small family, where students encourage one another more than they criticize and where the support of friends, teachers, coaches, dorm parents, and advisors makes it possible to be yourself without fear of judgment.

“Staying true to myself gives me the confidence to try new things, make mistakes, and most importantly learn from them,” she said. 

For Audrey T. ’28, authenticity begins with something deeper than our hobbies or interests.

“What makes you unique?” is a question we have all probably been asked. But Audrey has begun to wonder whether the things we enjoy are really what make us who we are. “The things we like may tell people what we enjoy, but the things we value tell people who we are.”

Audrey reflected on a lesson she has carried with her from her World Religions class: never diminish your own values for the benefit of others.

She knows how easy it can be to change yourself because you are worried about how other people see you. But becoming your true self, she has learned, means staying grounded in your values while remaining open to growth. It means taking accountability when you are wrong. It means being willing to make mistakes. It means accepting that you do not have everything figured out yet.

“Growing as a person doesn’t mean changing myself to fit what others expect of me,” Audrey said. “It means becoming more confident in my values, learning from my mistakes, and allowing myself to grow without losing the person I am.”

Being our true selves also requires something from the people around us. In her reflection, Ms. Tiffany Gray-Williams challenged the community to consider what it means to extend grace.

Grace, she said, creates space for people to make mistakes, forgive and be forgiven, and grow beyond errors in judgment or bad decisions.

That can be difficult. Sometimes we struggle to give ourselves grace. Sometimes it is easier to point out someone else’s mistakes than to examine our own. But a community built on authenticity must also be a community where people feel safe enough to grow. “How can anyone be their true selves in a place where judgment is harsh and swift?” Tiffany asked.

Her invitation to our community was simple: make room for one another to learn and grow. Have the difficult conversations. Put aside anger, pride, and hurt long enough to give one another the benefit of the doubt. Be kind. Be patient. Be slow to anger.

Because when we extend grace, people are less likely to hide behind a mask or allow a mistake to define them. “We support each other’s journeys,” Tiffany said. “We also develop our own resolve. Finally, we give grace.”

The theme of being our true selves took on an especially meaningful dimension during chapel when Chatham Hall announced that Dominique Dawes will join us April 7-8, 2027, as our 2026-2027 Polly Wheeler Guth ’44 Leader in Residence. A three-time Olympian, Olympic gold medalist, and member of the iconic “Magnificent Seven,” Dawes knows what it means to achieve at the highest level. But her story also speaks to the pressure of expectations, the pursuit of perfection, and the courage it takes to find your own voice.

Today, Dawes advocates for a different experience for the next generation of girls, one that encourages young people to pursue excellence while remaining grounded in who they are and who they want to become.

Her residency will be guided by a question that fits beautifully with our October theme:

What if the truest measure of success isn’t what you achieve, but who you become along the way?

Through her keynote, “Beyond the Podium: The Courage to Be You,” and conversations with students in advisory, athletics, meals, and small groups, Dawes will invite our girls to think deeply about identity, achievement, resilience, and leadership. Her visit will be an opportunity to look beyond the podium and consider what happens when achievement becomes part of the journey rather than the definition of who we are.

Throughout the chapel, poetry gave students another way to explore the theme. The words of e.e. cummings reminded us of the courage it takes to remain yourself in a world that is constantly asking you to become somebody else. Barbara Brown Taylor invited us to consider what might emerge when we strip away pretense and expectation. Seamus Heaney encouraged us to trust our own inner voice. And perhaps most beautifully, the community was reminded that becoming ourselves is not something we accomplish once and then finish. It is a lifelong process.

At Chatham Hall, we hope our students leave with the confidence to try something new, change their minds, make mistakes, discover new passions, hold firmly to their values, and grow without losing themselves along the way. Because being your true self does not mean having everything figured out. It means having the courage to keep becoming. Who are you becoming? This October, that is the question we are carrying with us.